Make a Choice

Well, it finally comes around to the interesting portion of my posts. I've already gone through Tomoyo, and touched on the alternate arc for Kyou. And now? I'm going to be explaining why I think the idea of having "another world" arcs is not only valid, but important to the series. Well, at the very least, I think that they provide an insight into something which becomes very important to Tomoya.

One Set Path?
The idea that there's only one "proper continuity" gets really toyed-with by Clannad, because it's based off of a "visual novel". For those who don't know...the most simple explanation of a VN I can scrounge up is that it's like those "Choose Your Own Adventure" books, but with a much more upper-scale story, better-developed characters, far-better writing, and more interesting choices. In a visual novel, there's multiple routes that you can take in the story. When there's a romance involved (as is typical of VNs), different routes tend to involve the main character ending in a relationship with different characters. WARNING: This next paragraph contains some spoilers for the visual novel, including a key bit about After Story

In Clannad, there's romantic endings for Tomoya with Nagisa, Fuko (yes, there is an ending where Tomoya goes out with Fuko), Tomoyo, Ryou, Kyou, and Yukine. That's a lot. And completing some of them unlocks bits of others' stories. In addition to that, these endings contain an important feature for After Story: the "light orbs". You have to complete these (and other) endings in order to fulfill people's wishes, to collect enough lights in order to unlock the "real" ending to After Story. See, in the usual ending to After Story, you get the path followed in the anime, where Nagisa dies during childbirth, Tomoya reconciles with Ushio, and then they tragically die in the snow. If you're missing light orbs, the game points you to that, and tells you to go back and collect the missing ones. I could write an entire post alone on that interpretation of the ending, the fact that you have to complete multiple timelines in order to unlock the "good" final ending. Or how that big bundle of lights includes lights from those "another world" storylines.

But I digress.

The idea that there's more than one set path gets talked-about by Ryou, mostly, although there's a scene in After Story where Kotomi waxes scientific about it, too. I find this scene to be the most informative, however, because of Ryou's monologue.



"If the results come true, it's as if there's only one set future. But if it fails, we can think that other futures exist. We never know how the future shifts because of the slightest change. I want to believe that in our future, there are many possibilities waiting."

On one level, it's a rather amusing statement by a character in a visual novel, poking the "fourth wall" a little. (Indeed, the "future" can shift because of the direction in which Tomoya attempts to avoid Kyou, early on in the game) And it's funny. It also makes one think about this "multiple paths" thing from another perspective. When you're playing the game, you think about it from an observer's perspective.

But what about the characters?

Many Possibilities
Ryou wrestles with that idea of fate. It's a rather subtle theme that comes through her entire character. She's a bit scared and timid, afraid to make splashes in the world. Perhaps she's scared to do something wrong, that one of those changes which she causes will bring about a terrible future. Perhaps she's frightened that she'll lose everything that she's been hoping for.

Tomoya ought to wrestle with the same fear. He's seen so much go bad from decisions that people have made, he has ample reason to believe that his own choices will wreak havoc on life. There's enough stuff that went bad in his life, after all. And maybe Tomoya does...up until that one pivotal moment which, ironically, begins the series. He reaches out to Nagisa.

In that single moment, all of the possibilities crystallize: the ones that are, the ones that are not. Everything boils down and is guided by that one pivotal choice. Is it fate? Not really. It's the movement of a heart, taking action and shaping reality...through the sheer force of will.

It just takes that one simple action. It takes the courage to make that choice. And, really, that's how we all shape our lives. If we don't step out, we can't choose a path. Fate won't pick our life for us. We have to do something about it.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what I leave you with.

It's been fabulous writing around here, and it's kinda sad to know that School's Trees is coming to an end soon, but it's been a good run. The season has come round, and The School's Trees will still stand to move and inspire future generations.

Rage and Peace: Tomoya and Kyou

Like I've mentioned before, Kyou is a character I've had to come to terms with after a while. I think it's just something about tsundere characters that causes me to inherently mistrust them. I think I tend to view those characters as manipulative to some degree, and I tend to have little pity when they make emotional problems for themselves. When I rewatched the series, though, I began to develop just that: sympathy for Kyou, and for everything she has to put up with.

Violent Tempests
Really, you can wrap it all up in this scene, right here. If you see this scene and think "Gee, I don't get Kyou at all. She just needs to get over it!" then you probably don't like the Kyou arc. That used to be me. When I gave it a second look, though, I really began to understand just what Kyou was all about. And it's really contained right here, in this video.



Kyou's heart is powerful, and there's a lot of things she wants. Kyou's greatest struggle is trying to understand how to reconcile those desires. She's literally torn between her and her sister, between wanting her sister to find happiness and her own attraction to Tomoya. This scene is where it all comes to a head. Kyou herself gives Tomoya the command to stay away from her, so that Ryou can be happy. She then leaves him to follow up on it.

It's a very different type of relationship from the Tomoyo or the Nagisa pairings. It's tumultuous and unsteady and very impassioned. It demands action from Tomoya. In the end, I can find that good and interesting as well. Every relationship, after all, reaches a sort of balance from one end of the spectrum to the other. The Tomoyo relationship began peacefully, and turned stormy, eventually stabilizing when Tomoya made his decision to grow up and take responsibility for his own life. The Kyou relationship begins violently, but everything clears up when Tomoya takes responsibility for his relationships, and chooses Kyou.

Stagnant Flames
This ending sees Tomoya in a really sticky situation. Youhei, in one of his rare moments of incredible intelligence and insight, rather sticks it to Tomoya for keeping it in this state. Kyou and Ryou both like Tomoya, and he's sort of trying to dance around the issue, pushing it off to avoid hurting them. He doesn't want to commit to something, and cause pain. Youhei points out that the longer he keeps it up, the more it'll hurt when he has to make a choice.

This is the significant point of the Kyou episode. With so many high-strung emotions going every which way on Kyou's part, there has to be a choice made. She's depending on Tomoya to choose, because it really is his call to make. And, compared to Tomoyo's chapter, what Tomoya winds up doing is rather pain-free. It's a neat resolution.




In fact, it's Kyou that goes through the most sacrifice here. She winds up disguising herself as her sister, on Ryou's suggestion, just to hear the truth from Tomoya. And it provides an avenue for Tomoya to make up for his mistakes. He makes his commitment, and this decision leads rather smoothly to the final resolution...





There's something interesting to be seen here, too, amidst the simple and happy ending. It's Kyou and what she says. She asks Tomoya if he really thinks she was the "right choice". She then tells him that she'll rest easy if he truly gets angry at that suggestion. It says a lot about Kyou. She's in reality a rather insecure person. With her passionate heart jerking her this way and that, she can't trust anyone else to stay with her. She needs reassurance. Since the language she speaks best is the passions of the heart, anger is simply another signal, for her. If Tomoya gets angry, that tells her that he really means what he says.

Oh, and there's one other video that I think would close this post nicely. It sums up Kyou pretty dang well.

Winter is Coming: Tomoya and Tomoyo

A number of people I know were befuddled by the "Another World: Tomoyo" episode. To them I say: hold off a bit, I'll touch on the topic of "another world" in another post. Today, though, it's time for a look at one of my favorite episodes in the entire series, and that's Tomoyo's "another world" arc. It's brief, for sure, but in a single episode the creators of Clannad manage to pack in an entirely unseen aspect of this character, and to tell a plausible and at times painful love story.

Quiet Starts the Winter
The alternate story of Tomoya and Tomoyo begins slowly and softly. It's not filled with the awkward stumblings of Tomoya and Nagisa. Rather, this couple sort of...happened. Tomoya explains it best here. We also get to see something which comes back again and again in this episode: Tomoyo wants Tomoya to stay by her side, to stay with her. She's found something precious in this relationship, and she wants it to stay.



This quietness is one of my favorite things about the Tomoyo/Tomoya pairing, though at the same time it turns out to be one of its challenges. Being a reflective person myself, and one who naturally prefers being with someone and knowing that they care about you to talking with them...I can appreciate this. I can understand what it's like to be this way. Tomoya and Tomoyo have an understanding that they belong.

Of course, such peace and quiet can't last. Complications quickly arise, and that's the focus of this episode. It highlights a very real component of love, too: it's not enough for two lovers to care only about themselves. They live in a big world, and there's all sorts of people depending on them, all sorts of circumstances that affect them, all sorts of consequences they have to deal with. This story is about two lovers coming to terms with the outside world.

Tension and Sacrifice
The guy in this clip is a grade-A jerk.



Sure, maybe he has a bit of a point, but he's not incredibly concerned for Tomoyo's wellbeing so much as he's jealous. In this little meeting here, we see a conflict. The abstract struggle between Tomoyo's heart and Tomoyo's duty is made very, very real. Her heart wants to be with Tomoya, the match that she's found, the one whom she can care about, the one whom she is at peace with. Her duty, though, tells her that she can't be.

It's a grim twist of irony. Why? Because she took on this duty because of her heart; she seeks a high position so that she can preserve the sakura trees for her brother. Her heart's gotten her into a place where she's bound up into something she doesn't want.

And she tries to make it work even so. Tomoyo is ridiculously stubborn. Even though she doesn't show it, she refuses to let the danger to her position shake her. (There's a reason Tomoyo's theme song is called "Her Determination")

Drastic Action
Tomoya knows that it can't last. He can tell that even she's just dodging an inevitable fate. So he does something incredibly painful to fix the situation.



He lies to Tomoyo, telling her that he never loved her, and breaks off their relationship. Thus begins a remarkably painful portion of the episode. Tomoya goes through a drudge of life. He passes Tomoyo without pausing for a glance of recognition, tries applying to jobs, and everything is bleak and gray, just like at the start of Clannad.

There's an interesting difference, though. It all gets summed up in the very end of the episode, which I think is one of the more poignant and beautiful moments of the series. Tomoyo explains that Tomoya's been doing just fine. When they were together, he was learning something. Being with someone who cared so much for something, he understood what it meant to take responsibility. It may have not taken on a dramatic form as with Nagisa, but the relationship of Tomoya and Tomoyo taught him how to stand up and be a man.



There's something about this scene that just moves me. It's not that the ending is happy. It's not even the idea that Tomoyo is willing to sacrifice everything to be with Tomoya. No, it's something even more powerful. It's the fact that she believes in Tomoya. She believes in his goodness, and she believes in his loving heart. Why else would she have watched as he grew, and fallen even more in love with him, even though he had told her that he didn't love her? She believed in his love, so much so that she couldn't truly accept what he'd told her.

And she believes in his ability to rise. When Tomoya tells her that he'll drag her down, that she has higher places to go than next to him...and she tells him that he's not as low as he thinks he is. She's telling him that he, too, can rise. And shortly after, he says as much. "It's a little late, but I'll go to where you are, too." Tomoya has come a long way.

Ironically, the color scheme used for this end sequence is practically identical to the beginning of Clannad. It wouldn't appear like anything has changed...but everything has changed, on the inside. The circle is finished.

There was something, though, that I really, truly liked about this episode. It's something that caught me by surprise, and something that deepened characters like nobody's business.



A Different Tomoyo
When I saw that clip up there, I was pretty close to floored. It took my expectations of Tomoyo, and did a perfectly rational and surprising thing with them. It's also something which made me even more of a Tomoyo fan. Put quite simply: Tomoyo gets hurt.

Reread those three little words for a second. Tomoyo gets hurt.

Yeah. You heard that right. Tomoyo is one of the strongest characters in the show, taking a seat just behind the Furukawa parents, Ushio, and even Nagisa herself. She's physically strong, but also ridiculously stable. Her past is filled with tragedy, and she and her family have pulled together and grown stronger because of it. Even emotionally, she's incredibly strong. And then we get hit with this lovely little tidbit.

You can hurt Tomoyo. Really easily, actually. All you have to do is gun for that which she cares about the most. She's found a heart to be with, and she's made that her aim and desire.

Doing something like that automatically makes you vulnerable. What impresses me the most about Tomoyo's strength is this vulnerability. Her weakness...it's not something we'd think of at first. But it's something powerful, something incredible.

To love, you must be capable of being hurt. You have to take that leap. You have to make that risk. Without this jump, you can only go so far. Tomoyo's thrown herself into this with her very being, and it's that dedication that I can admire.

The Answer I've Found

All of that character contrast doesn't mean a whole lot, though, without something substantial behind Tomoyo. To tell the truth, I was still feeling that bit out. I couldn't quite find something that really, strongly made me attached to the character, as much as I really liked her. Fuko remained my top character for a while, simply because there was something I really admired about her insistent and totally devoted sacrifice for her sister. Tomoyo? Well, I just liked her general philosophy and approach to life.

That was before I saw Episode 18, which is also essentially the core of Tomoyo's arc all wrapped into one episode. This, by the way, is a vast compression from the Visual Novel, far moreso than any of the other girls' arcs. In part, this is because Fuko's arc and Kotomi's arc both touch on the supernatural aspect of the show. Kyou and Ryou's arc has more time simply because Kyou is loud, and makes her presence very known. This leaves Tomoyo to explain herself in a single episode.

Explain she does. It's all contained in this scene, which is one of the scenes that crystallizes Clannad for me. Though I'm moved by other scenes, there aren't a whole lot which speak so directly to me about the meaning of the show. Indeed, I would posit that the entire show can be summed up with the following clip.



She flat-out explains something important, something very important: that it's family which keeps a person together. Tomoya's never really thought of this question until now. The answers he gives (talent and relationships) are a tad shallow, and I think Tomoyo agrees, but is too nice to say so. Rather, she offers her own, stronger reason. Interestingly, this is of critical importance to After Story. Tomoya, though he doesn't know it, will face the threat of running wild in rebellion against the world, and he's going to need something to keep him stable. If he relied on talent, well...his talents aren't exactly apparent, and he sure hasn't found them. If he relied on relationships, well...he couldn't. Not after Nagisa's death.

All he has left is family.

In the end, that's really why I love Tomoyo. All that she had left, when Takafumi jumped, was family. It was from family that she pulled together meaning from life. The love in her family was what kept them afloat, and that speaks all manner of things to me. These four minutes practically encapsulate the entirety of After Story, in a sense, giving you a taste of what's to come. Tomoyo falls back on her family to protect her, and is all the more awesome for it. When I reached this point, I was sold.

I could tell that beneath that calm, cool, occasionally violent exterior was a heart that cared intensely for the ones whom Tomoyo loved. It was a passionate, strong heart, and also a heart torn and mended from the experience of life. Tomoyo is a soul who has weathered tragedy and devastation, and come out all the better for it. She knows where to go back to, back to her family, back to the ones who love her.

Because, really, that's the only answer that I've found to life that I can truly say that I agree with. It all comes back to family.

Two Girls (And a Boy in the Middle)

I figure that the Tomoyo vs. Kyou clip has been linked enough times by me, so I won't embed it in this post. It really is the one clip which does the difference between the two female leads of the series' end the best justice. At the same time, it's interesting to note their similarity...this is something I alluded to in my Kyou post for Top Ten.

Fire and Water
Yeah, the elemental symbolism is a tad overdone...but if two characters ever deserved these elements, it's Kyou and Tomoyo. I'd say, however, that Tomoyo is the fire, while Kyou is the water. It's definitely not the typical definition; with her high-strung temperament, you'd expect Kyou to be the fire, right? Well, here's where I'm going with it.

Kyou is a tempest. She washes one way, but then momentum takes her and drags her right back. Just as water is moved by many currents and ripples beneath its surface, so Kyou is pulled every which way by the emotional forces in her life. By contrast, Tomoyo is a slowly burning blaze, a focused fire. She has a goal to her blaze, and so she doesn't let it burn out of control. She only allows it to show under the most important circumstances.

Persons of Special Violence
Tomoyo and Kyou beat people up. They beat people up who really deserve it. Kyou sometimes beats people up who don't deserve it, because she's into pre-emptive strikes and all that. What immediately comes to mind is how she brains (or attempts to brain) anyone who steps within five feet of Botan, preferring to ask questions later. Tomoyo takes a cautious approach, even going so far as to tell Sunohara to attack her, to make her violence self-defense.

Tomoyo is this way because of her past. She's been through her violent phase, a phase that Kyou is currently going through. The major difference is that Tomoyo's phase was far worse. Whereas Kyou only beats up those around her, Tomoyo was going and picking fights with gang members. She is far better at fighting, and she's been through more of it. She has a far more experienced view of violence, because she's been there and disliked what she saw. She doesn't want to be violent, and takes every caution against it.

Them and Tomoya
I got to watch this difference play out in the second-to-last arc of Clannad, and I loved Tomoyo all the more for it. See, I rather disliked Kyou's approach to Tomoya. She was throwing herself after him, as it were, pushing people around, and trying to force matters. I had a gut reaction to all of this. I didn't like it. By contrast, there was Tomoyo. Every pass that Kyou made brought me closer to liking Tomoyo more.

I think that the clip linked above, again, has a great example of this (I automatically skipped it to the very end, where the important bit is). Tomoyo is very careful about where she throws her emotion. She lets her feelings for Tomoya grow and develop, instead of rushing them. Of course, this winds up costing her in the long run, but oh well. Nagisa is somewhat fated to win out in the "main ending", anyhow. ;)

When All's Said and Done...
Contrast with Kyou isn't enough for me to like Tomoyo, of course. She hit on some things that spoke to me, though. What exactly were they? Well, you'll have to wait a little bit to find those out...next week.

A Roving Artist Has Joined Your Party!

Well hullo folks. I figure that y'all deserve a bit of a proper introduction to the folk known as me. CarpeGuitarrem, CG, Carpe, or you could just call me Andy. ;) Who am I? Well, where to begin? Writer, musician, geek, somewhat intellectual, aiming to be deeply spiritual, and I'm no stranger to kazoku. (You know the rules, and so do I...) I'm such a weird random conbogglement of stuff, I hardly know where to introduce myself. Generally, it's by finding common ground with my audience, we can start with that, and then move on from there.

I suppose that common ground is Clannad, isn't it? After all, it's somewhat the show that we've all gathered here to discuss and commemorate. (Gee, that sounds like the start of a eulogy...that's just not right...) Bear with me. I get random sometimes SQUIRREL! (Okay, I'm not that bad. Joking aside, I'll have to restrain my impulses to go on unrelated tangents, just a tad.) To the Clannad part, Robin!

My Introduction to Clannad
Was, admittedly, something which took a while. Once upon a time, Liam brought me over to his friend Marty's house, for something. Probably an RPG night. Or maybe we were playing Super Smash Brothers Brawl. Or both. At any rate, he wound up showing me the first episode. This was during his Clannad obsession phase, so I naturally was a bit skeptical. I will say that the first episode didn't do much to alleviate my skepticism. I was pretty weirded-out by the genre-bending comedy, and the fact that I couldn't tell if the show was serious or silly. I just couldn't relate.

I didn't pick the show back up, until some time later, when Liam was showing other friends. This was well after he had finished the series, and continued to rant on about its awesomeness. I picked up part of the way through the Fuko arc, and I decided that I liked the show well enough. Eventually I watched through the Kotomi arc. I think that was courtesy of Brandon, actually. I never got around to continuing the series, though. Other things to do, and other shows that gripped me more strongly. (I really hope I haven't engendered everlasting hatred with any of you by this point, but oh well. Too late for that.)

It took Brandon and another Clannad-obsessed friend to get me to finish the series, when they came to visit my house and introduced my siblings to the series. Well, they liked it, and we watched the entire thing over the course of the summer. And I decided that I really did like the show, in fact, that it ranked among my top anime. There were some things in the first season that really hit home for me, and sealed the deal. Then I started rewatching it with my university's anime club, and found out that it's a very elaborately written show. So, I've a lot of respect for it, even when it doesn't connect as much with me as with other people.

My Take on Clannad
Like I said, I know a lot of people who connect far more strongly with Clannad than I do. I think it's just a personality thing. Don't get me wrong--After Story twisted my gut like none other, it hurt. I didn't find myself moved to tears by the normal parts, though. While I like Nagisa's story, and find her to be a nice character, that's not (in a sense) where my Clannad heart lies. In fact, that'll be the subject of my posts to come.

I think that one of the appeals of the show is that it approaches its subject from many different angles. That's one of the benefits of the first season being a "harem anime", and of the source material being a visual novel. Some will connect better with different angles. Obviously, since Nagisa is the clear favored female character in the show (the others' material being greatly cut out, compared to the visual novel), most people relate to her best. That, and she's likeable to just about anyone.

Me, I'm a bit different. No, I didn't hate Nagisa. I liked Nagisa. It's just that...she never really jumped out and struck me as someone whom I could understand and connect with. It's possible that this is why I took so long to connect with Clannad. For me, it took a good amount of time into the series to find someone I really could connect with, and that's what my series of posts is going to be about.

You can guess, or you can just watch the following clip. As one of the first things I saw of Clannad, it kinda weirded me out. Now, I just think it's awesome.

Y'Know, I Don't Like Cats..(Katsuki's Arc)

My apologies for being late once again, but finals and a friend's wake make meeting deadlines a little difficult. Pray for the soul of Angela, willya? She died Monday.

Katsuki's arc is, by far, the strangest arc in Clannad. It's strange because it has nothing and everything to do with the plot, and is inconsequential yet essential. Do not let the fact that this arc is only two episodes long and only shows about 10 or so minutes of the main characters fool you. This is possibly the most important arc in the entire anime. Why? Because it shows the rules of how the lights work. And that's necessary to see how Ushio is allowed to allow Tomoya to bring Nagisa back. But, before that, I'd like to look at the tradition of animals-become-humans in Key's history, most notably in Kanon

Makoto 

As some of you might not be aware, I'm gonna bring this up: most of Clannad is not original, but are plot devices borrowed from earlier Key works. I won't say all of the stuff they borrowed (for fear of spoiling a really beautiful ending in Kanon), but one of the things they borrowed was the animal becoming a human thing. They borrowed it from their work Kanon, which showcases a fox-girl known as Makoto. In Kanon Makoto is a fox who is befriended by the main character during his summer break. She (the fox) falls in love with the main character and wishes to be with him, and somehow that wish is granted. Enter the redhead in the above picture. Eventually the spell wears out and she regresses into fox-dom, saying her trademark "Awu!" more and more often. Eventually she dies and disappears, never to be seen again. It was beautiful. It was sad. I hated it. 


Why?

Her voice in Japanese is so bloody annoying!!! I hate, and I mean hate, that "awu!" sound that she makes! Gah! I was almost cheering when she died, if only because I didn't have to hear that bloody sound anymore. Makoto almost ruined Kanon for me, and I was desperate to see what the rest of the anime had to offer. Shortly thereafter, Kanon proved itself in my eyes. Granted, that took 12 episodes, but hey. Belief is a good thing...

Anyway!

Katsuki is Key's latest take on this concept, and as far as I'm aware it's their last. And just as well, because this arc is beautiful. From start to finish this story is hilarious, poignant, heartbreaking, heartwarming, it's all over the place. Katsuki shows up to Sagara while she's in highschool, and tells her that he can grant any one wish for her. It takes two episodes to convince her,but the journey along the way is nothing short of amazing. Kaktsuki shows that he's an animal in a very subtle way. He's loyal to the point of stupidity, doesn't entirely understand human interaction, and doesn't self reflect in the way that most humans do. Katsuki acts like a very sweet cat, even in human form, which is why the following scene a bit heart wrenching...

This covers the first rule of making a wish: Be specific. Sagara and Katsuki had no idea that Katsuki was a cat, so she only asked for him to love her forever. Katsuki's form was not permanent, but a temporary shell granted to him by The Light so he could accomplish his mission. To ask for the wish to be granted would take away his "shell", and would return him to being a cat. It's a sad moment, but unfortunately neither one of them knows, so therefore they can't make the proper wish. But are they really supposed to to? I mean, Katsuki was a cat to begin with, and therefore his destiny wasn't supposed to stay intertwined Sagara, nevermind any human. To have him stick around as a cat already "bends" the rules of the world, but to have him stay human? This brings up a tentative second rule: The wish must be made personally. It can't be just whispered to the heavens, but to a real person standing in front of you. This is one of the most genius things in Clannad, because how many people have had their wishes granted by a random occurence? Not very often. But by people? Almost all the time. Katsuki becoming a person was a natural part of the process, and shows some amount of intelligent design in the wish making process. To have something this complex and personal implies a personal God looking over the scene and letting it happen.

"But God denied the wish", you might say. "If God existswhy did He deny the wish? "It certainly seems like God "screened" her wish, decided it wasn't the best for her, and changed it, doesn't it? The why's summed up later, when Tomoya tells Sagara that she needs to continue to live and find as much happiness as possible. This brings up the third of these rules: The wish made must give you true happiness. If there's a better way, God will take that instead, while granting your wish in a way that doesn't interfere with your greater happiness. While Katsumi was supposed to be in Sagara's life for a time, the fact that he's a cat originally means that he shouldn't (and couldn't) be there for Sagara in the way needed. He already showed a lack of understanding in human interaction, but imagine as time went on and they had kids. Can you imagine a human that was formally a cat attempt to take care of children?  I mean, licking can be fun and all, but it's a tad bit ridiculous when you do that to your own kids. Not that we ever saw Kastumi do something like that, but you get the idea. Also, Kastumi was able to say "When you took me down like a pro wrestler, I could smell your scent" without a hint of blush as he did. Guys, would you like to try that on your girlfriends without the least bit of innuendo there? Go on, go and say it to her, come back, and tell me how that went.


OK, did she think you were being gross and that you were coming onto her, while you felt horribly shamed for existing? That's a sign that you're not a cat, but a normal guy. Relish the shame, guys, relish the shame.


All joking aside, what I'm getting at is this. Katsumi was never intended to be human, and so therefore wasn't built like one. As much as he loved Sagara it really was the love of a pet for his master. Need proof? Look at the sentimental ending for this arc.






In short, what Sagara was asking for wasn't the best option, so God took her request and granted it in the way that He could: Katsumi would become a cat again, and would follow Sagara forever. While it isn't the ending that we were looking for, it is proof that someone is on the other side of curtain, pulling strings so everyone can become happy. Sagara got what she really needed: a pet that she could be kind to all the time. And Kastumi got what he wanted: a kind and loving master. And God, in His infinite wisdom, allowed that to be so. While we don't necessarily see at the time why God allows certain things to be a certain way God sometimes needs to deny us of what we think we want so that He can give us what we really want. This is the heart and message of this arc: God will always give us what's truly in our hearts.



God is good, even when we don't understand why. And for that I am thankful.

A thanks to Clannad Central for uploading the videos for me separate of Brandon (and hopefully Sean). I had a lot going on this week in the form of finals and my friend Angela's death. I hope you guys don't mind (not that you have a choice), but I'm going to talk about her a bit. 


I had left McDonald's three years ago, proclaiming that I'd rather be homeless than work there again. It wasn't that the people I was working with were bad. I hated the job itself. So when I became desperate three years later, I realized that my earlier proclamation was... not as strong as I'd anticipated. I was back in McDonald's. And that alone made me want to puke. I wanted nothing to do with that place, and was bitter that the circumstances of my life had led me back to the one job that I couldn't stand.


Angela made that place bearable for the first few months as I readjusted. She was kind (even when I wasn't,) let me know when I screwed up (even when others wouldn't), and asked me an incessant amount of questions about myself (especially when others wouldn't). In short, she became my friend. I warmed up to her, and in consequence, the other people in the store, and before I knew it working there was just a chore that was lightened by the presence of people that I knew and trusted. While I never hung out with her outside of work I thought of her often and hoped that, whatever she was doing, she was happy and at peace.


Imagine my surprise on Thursday when I found out that Angela had died Monday. 


I won't get into the details on a blog (I'll only say that she wasn't a suicide), but please pray for her. She is my friend, and I hope to goodness that she'll be waiting for me when I go Home, because I think she'd want to be there. Thank you for your patience, understanding, and prayers. God bless.

The Trust of a Child

As I said before, this is where things actually take off. This is After Story, one of the most moving masterpieces of all time, this is....

Baseball? What?

Yes, the writers put us into a BASEBALL game at the start, with Tomoya being relied upon to supply the players. By now I'd gotten used to the writers taking what would normally be filler and making it crucial to the plot, so I didn't mind. But baseball? What did these guys have in mind this time?

This:



The last few minutes of this opening episode scream foreshadowing. Tomoya is put into a situation where only he can save the hopes and dreams of his friends, with Nagisa's success hanging on his willingness to try? Gosh, that sounds so familiar!  That sounds like Nagisa dying and Tomoya only having to make a wish... only here, he doesn't choke. What saves Tomoya here is that Nagisa is alive and waiting for him. And so he musters it up into one shot, and BAM! Out of the park the ball goes, and Nagisa comes back home. The family has won, because Tomoya believed.

The writers have been setting up this scenario over and over again, trying to tell you in all the ways they can without actually telling you what's going to happen. Remember the basketball scene? Where Tomoya shot and made the basket? That's another time the writers put the foreshadowing on heavy. The beginning is a mirror of the ending, making a beautiful symmetry. Seriously, everything lines up. Anyway, on to more serious issues.

Sunohara's Arc
This is the arc that deals with Tomoya's cruelty towards Sunohara. Tomoya has always been a bit of a prankster, but his shenanigans towards Sunohara have always been particularly hurtful, and it comes to a head here. What on earth prompted Tomoya to do this to Sunohara in the first place? I personally think this scene from the Afterstory Bonus Episode



Could it be that part of Tomoya's intentions in telling Sunohara that Sanae is Nagisa's sister is some form of revenge for having to watch Sunohara play a cruel prank on Kyou? I'd like to say that it's more than half of it. Tomoya really hated what happened there, and has probably held a grudge against Sunohara ever since then, and lost all pity for Sunohara. So, yeah, this really is Tomoya's revenge. And boy, is it a big one. Tomoya lies to Sunohara and tells him that he's dating Mei, and that starts a chain of events leading up to this:



What I love about this scene is that most of what Tomoya is saying is self-reflective. He's not just talking to Sunohara here, but himself. Tomoya is just as afraid of being what Sunohara is, but has become just like him: bitter and cruel. In fact, Tomoya has become worse than Sunohara in his attempts to get even. He really enjoys hurting Sunohara because he believes that Sunohara's too soft and needs to toughen up.

But the words I thought it was alright if it was with you! are enough to jolt Tomoya out of his cruelty. And wouldn't it jolt you? To be told that all the times that your friend has listened to all your dumb pranks was because he trusted you enough to suspend reason itself? I know that would change me, and it changes Tomoya. From here on out he'll never play pranks again, and becomes quite gentle.

OK, one more time just for the hell of it!

Why's this so important? Because if Tomoya hadn't changed here, he may have still had that mean streak with Ushio around. Imagine someone with Sunohara's level of trust in Tomoya, but they're much younger, and you have Ushio. Without this pivotal moment Tomoya may have permanently damaged Ushio. What, you don't think Tomoya is capable of that? After watching him cruelly torturing his friend Sunohara throughout the entirety of this show, even though Sunohara sees more good in Tomoya than Tomoya does in himself? Tomoya's capable, and at the point of his life where Ushio meets him he's even weaker than he is now, so he'd be willing. Without this arc Tomoya would have destroyed Ushio. 


Still not convinced? Fine. Sunohara relies upon Tomoya as a child does a father to keep him out of harm's way, to give him advice on how to deal with girls, and to be there when he needs him. He's also as annoying as a child, acts like a child, and overall needs as much guidance (and beatings) as a child without ritalin. When you think about it, all those humorous moments with Sunohara are actually very dark humor, because each and everyone of them attests to Tomoya's failure. The fact that Tomoya doesn't have a good example from his father is part of the point. Tomoya is only acting as he sees his father acting. But here he's shown that it's not enough to imitate your father, you have to be yourself. Well, he's shown that partially. The  rest of that character development comes along after Nagisa dies. But for now, this is enough for Tomoya and for us.

This arc is one of the reasons I love this show so much: it's willing to change the status quo. While Tomoya never stops playing around with Sunohara his level of cruelty drops, meaning that half of the plots that could have been started (Tomoya being a cruel bastard to person x) are no longer possible. It was a bold move, but a good one. Even today when I watch this arc I'm amazed that they took something as "subtle" and long standing as Tomoya's pranks and ended them, because without this change Tomoya and his world wouldn't have been nearly as believable, because people do change over time. Nagisa stops doubting herself. Akio opens up. Tomoyo stops being a gang leader. Kyou finally becomes gentle. Kotomi gains confidence. But all these changes happen because of experiences that teach them that what they're doing now isn't good enough. That change is needed. That they must break out of their ruts and become something new.

That they must become human. 


A special thanks to the Clannad Fanpage for graciously uploading all the videos that I've used in this post. Taylor went through a few hoops to get me this stuff, and I'm grateful for the time and effort he put into these videos. I'm also grateful to all the people out there with Clannad blogs whom I've "borrowed" pictures from. Your work makes this blog possible, even if you don't know it. 

NAGISA!!!!

Apparently I made quite a following back at university, because a lot of my friends from there have watched Clannad. Most of them really love it, but they always remark upon one thing: the end is deus ex machina. As I'd explained earlier, that's not how I see it. The ending is so incredibly planned and told to you over and over again that if you don't notice it it's your own fault. The writers frequently tell you that the ending is not only possible, but it's the only ending that can be. Repeat after me, kiddies: THE ENDING IS NOT DEUS EX MACHINA. A deus ex machina is where the gods come out of nowhere and rescue the protagonist, and everything ends well. Clannad defies this definition to a T. Everything is planned, and the ending is well within "the rules". Nothing sums this up like the ending the first half of Clannad, where Nagisa finally finds out about her parent's pasts. Tomoya is the first to find out so that way he can help steer Nagisa away from her search.

Unfortunately, however, Nagisa finds out the night before the play, and that goes as well as you can imagine. Nagisa has trouble accepting the idea that her own dreams are worthwhile, and this is the nail in the coffin for her. She gives up. So she stands, on the stage, unable to do anything, until Akio comes in:



Quick story time: When I first watched this speech, my jaw dropped. It wasn't that I didn't know what Akio was saying, I had just never thought of it that way before! To me this was a completely new way of thinking about parenthood, the best way that I'd ever heard. We didn't give up our dreams. We changed ours to yours. That is a parent. Something about that has dramatically impacted me ever since, because I have a dream. I want to be an iconographer. I want to be someone who makes images of God for other people to pray with so that they can go to Heaven. I also want to be a priest, someone who helps guide people to Heaven through my example and prayers. This is the first time that I asked "Is that enough? Is it enough to only want things to that make me happy? Even if they're done for the sake of everyone?" To this day I can't answer that question. I hope to be able to someday, but for now all I can do is follow my dreams and hope that, in fulfilling my dream, I can make my children's dreams possible as well. The fact that Akio was not given that chance is something that I haven't missed. Nagisa was too sick for Akio to do what he wished, but it didn't matter, because Nagisa came first. She was Akio's dream, even moreso than theatre. And that's the way it should be. I'm sure that if Akio had the chance to keep doing theatre he would, if it meant that Nagisa could be taken care of. But those two dreams couldn't be compatible for him, so he threw away the theatre.

Oh well, I'll know if/when I get there.

A brief explanation of Nagisa is in order. I'm sure quite a few of you are wondering "Why the hell is Nagisa like this? She's got such awesome parents! How could she be this weak?" Fortunately I can shed light on this in a way that many people can't. My last year in highschool I relapsed with Lyme's Disease. That basically means that if I don't take care of myself I have three ending options: A) Go blind   B) Go crazy  C) Have all those things happen AND I die in slowly, with all my nerves on fire. For the next four years I grappled with this disease. During that time I lost (for limited times, thank God) the ability to trust my senses, my ability to walk, my ability to think clearly (if at all), and the ability control my emotions. The disease is in control now (thanks to the smart managing of what I eat, turns out the disease damaged my body so I can't have dairy or eggs without getting depressed and tired), but one thing sticks with me: fear. Nothing will take away your courage faster than finding out that your very body isn't reliable. It doesn't matter how strong the people around you are, or how much they believe in you. Your body failed you, and that changes everything. For if your own body won't work with you, then what will? Certainly not the world, because it made the rules that your body can't live up to. Certainly not your friends. They can't understand because their bodies don't fail them in that dramatic of a fashion. And sure as hell not God, who gave you the body that fails you so often. If your body can't help, what can?

That's Nagisa's problem. Nagisa's body has done nothing but fail her for a long time now, and so she won't trust in her dreams. Why would she WANT to? Her body can't carry them out, so why bother wishing? And if others have dreams why be so presumptuous as to cancel them out with your own, since the possibility for failure is so high? Better to fail at your own dreams and let others carry on. This is what keeps Nagisa back. This is her fear. Her body has failed her before, and so she doesn't want to get in the way. She almost wants to  die, so that others can carry on with their dreams. She has gotten so used to the idea that her body makes it impossible that she's willing to just lay down arms at the first sight of trouble! The fact that Nagisa even voiced her wishes at the beginning of the show at all shows tremendous strength and willpower. Contrary to what you may think, Nagisa is not weak. Her ability to carry on in the face of her failing body is a sign of grace and power. This is evidenced by Nagisa completing her dream after the pep talk/bashing of Akio and Tomoya. She didn't realize that everyone else had bet the farm on her, and that she needed to succeed. For the first time in her life, it didn't matter how bad Nagisa's body was. Others depended on her, and she couldn't let her own weakness get in the way.  For once Nagisa had a true reason to reach beyond herself, and she did so.

As important as it is for the characters, Akio's speech is possibly the most important speech of all of Clannad. In it he details the importance of children in a family, and that a parent's dreams (and happiness) depends on the child doing whatever he wants. In essence, a parent surrenders himself completely to his child for the child's sake. KEEP THIS IN MIND, BECAUSE THAT MEANS A LOT OF OTHER THINGS AS WELL. Like a bunch of little light orbs that you've been seeing  for awhile....but more on that later. The stage is set, and the ending's key component has been revealed. You may not see it yet, but that's perfectly fine. For those of you who've watched this show please go and check up what I've just said. You'll find that not only does it work but it's the only way. The ending is not deus ex machina, because Akio's speech exists. 


A note of appreciation to Clannad Central and to all the people that I randomly steal stuff from to get this blog to work. Thank you for your had effort, it won't be wasted!


Another note: You may have noticed that the author's name for this post has changed from Nathan Augustine to Liam Francis Traveller. Don't worry guys, the blog did not switch authors. Truth be told, The School's Trees is not my primary project. It's Pilgrim Iconography, a website that I designed to show off my work as an iconographer. 


One of the things that I've become painfully aware of in the last few years is how easily confused people can get.  They seem to think that everything posted on the internet is the whole story, and that's just not the case. Iconographers have a specific connotation in the Church, a connotation that, for better or for worse, I just don't fill. I'm not older, and I'm not a monk. Nor am I a priest. I'm a young man who is still trying to figure things out, like all young men are. I am still looking for my own place in life, and so I want to ask the questions that all young men do. However, this is not how people see it.  They have a hard time seeing the human in the collar, or the artist behind the paintbrush. And so I have "separated" the identities so that, for better or worse, scandal is not invited in any way, shape, or form. I'm not saying that I have evil in mind. Far from it. I want to do all the good I can on this earth until I'm called Home. But, so that there isn't a chance of evil that I'm responsible for happening, I've changed the account name and split Pilgrim Iconography to another account. I hope I've been clear in my intentions, and it's my honest hope that I didn't confuse the hell out of everyone.


A third note: I know I'd said before that you guys wouldn't hear anything out of me, because of my schoolwork. Well surprise, I'm sick! There's a bug going around in the house, and I'm the last one to get it. So, I decided that since I couldn't iconography done that I'd lie in my bed and type. I hope you guys are happy ;)

Everyone's Waiting for You (Kotomi Arc)

This is the second character arc of Clannad, the one that I'm the most conflicted about. Why? Well, on the one hand it's a great amount of fun. The violin recital is undoubtedly one of the funniest moments of Clannad. Heck, it's so funny I'll post it!



See what I mean? She's just so deadly, so unaware, so......cute. If I may, I would like to say that she is the cutest of the girls, even moreso than Fuko. There's just this charm to her that's so disarming, so honest, so... well....watch...

Bo-n-jour? It's cuteness. All of it.

All arcs of Clannad are a foreshadowing of the end, and this arc is no exception. Kotomi's arc is even more blatant in its foreshadowing than Fuko's, showing us many things about Tomoya and the child that he and Nagisa will have. I can't say too much without giving it all away but rest assured, when the time comes I will do a full comparison between all the Clannad girls and the child. For the moment, just take into account Kotomi's relative isolation, and this video clip (skip to 5:12)



Tomoya's heroism once again shines out. His belief that the world, that God, will love Kotomi is just as strong as his belief in Fuko. Despite Tomoya being a jerk and his inability to stay awake for any length of time his faith and love are enough to help get Kotomi to a place where she can heal. She puts her trust in God, in the world....

And, once again, the world reciprocates as Tomoya had promised, as shown in the following scene:


I gotta admit, this is the corniest part of Clannad. No matter how much time passes, I can't help but roll my eyes over the sheer corniness of that scene. However, it does prove the point. Corny or not, it's beautiful.

The lights around Kotomi are also the key part of this story, and for obvious reasons you should be wondering what the heck they are. Rest assured, I will explain it. But for now, be content with the fact that I know what's going on and you don't. ;)

As good as her arc is though, in my humble opinion it has the most plot holes of Clannad. I say this for a few reasons. First, her seeming abandonment by her godfather. Second, THE BRIEFCASE! And third, her mental state, which goes back to the the first reason.

First, the issue of her godfather. Now, I understand that things probably work a bit differently in Japan, but why the heck didn't this man take Kotomi in? He obviously cares for her, and even though she's scared of him initially that really shouldn't make a difference as to what her godfather's actions are. His seeming lack of common sense always jerks me back to reality, something that I really can't forgive the writers for. That and putting him in a trench coat and sunglasses and a hat REALLY make him look like a bad guy. Seriously, writers, seriously. What the hell were you thinking?

Second, that briefcase. I understand on some level that it's a miracle that the briefcase made it all around the world, but for criminy's sake those sorts of things just don't happen. And for comparison, I agree with the ending of Clannad, which is as about as out of the blue as it gets for an anime, and I didn't buy THIS. Are my priorities screwed up? Probably, but then again I always had a bit more trust of God than I did humanity.

Third, Kotomi shows some signs of PTSD and having some sort of personality disorder. I don't just say that because she's weird, I'm saying that because of her inability to connect with others, her misunderstanding of social cues, and that maddening toe walk which no woman with her bust size would do willingly. Something's just not right, which fuels problem number one that I have with this arc. If she has these issues why didn't someone step in and help her before Tomoya?

GAAAAAAAAAAH!!! THREE PLOT HOLES IN A PERFECT SHOW! IT'S ENOUGH FOR ME TO GO CRAZY!!!



OK, I feel better now.... the Dango song....yay....

Despite having these plot holes I could drive my Chrysler through, Kotomi's arc is amazing. While it didn't affect me as much as Fuko's arc did, Kotomi's arc is a good follow up to the masterpiece that is Fuko.  I love Kotomi's violin, I love her innocence, and well, I love Kotomi. I'm sorry that I can't talk as much about her overall place in the plot yet, but trust me, I'll have plenty to say later.

With three hiragana.

Many thanks to Clannad Central for uploading these videos specifically because we asked them to. You guys are awesome!

Until the Beginning of the Dream (Fuko's Arc)

Fuko.... aahh.... I love this arc. Like, truly love it. As in, every time I watch this arc I love it more and more. While I can say that I still love the rest of Clannad, Fuko's arc holds a special place in my heart. Why? I'll tell you.

As I had said before, Clannad had grabbed me from the first episode hook, line, and sinker. The interplay of already complex and deep main characters was more than enough, and laughing at Sunohara (who reminds me of one of my best friends) kept things entertaining in an otherwise very serious anime. I say very serious, because Fuko's arc is not a comedy in even the classical sense of the word. The characters do not defeat fate. Fuko still fades away into the blackness of our memories, and even though she accomplished her mission she'll never be remembered. That's tragedy, in the classical sense of the word. The character don't defeat fate. But they sure do spit in its eye, don't they?

I did many things after Jamie broke up with me. I screamed, punched things, gained twenty pounds in two weeks, and lost my faith in humanity, but I didn't cry. Fuko's arc was the first thing in years that actually made me want to cry. Why? Because it was sad, nothing more and nothing less. Here was a girl who had worked so hard, even in a coma, for a sister who didn't even know what she was doing, but no one would remember! The unfairness made my throat catch for a minute. But my cynicism came and ate it up. "Ah, this is corny!" I thought to myself. "Who gives a damn if this friggin girl goes back into a coma? It isn't real anyway." Then I turned to Marty, and realized that he was crying. Not a lot, mind you, but crying none-the-less. At that point I realized I was missing something. Something huge. Because if Marty, who rarely showed any emotion beyond annoyance, was crying at this then that meant I was far more cynical than I thought. And it wasn't fine as it was. I had to change.

This arc, in a special way, tells us what the ending of Clannad is going to be: Tomoya and Nagisa will be together, as a family, with a baby. They set this up by Kouko and Yoshino, the couple-to-be in this arc. And even though They don't say it outright, Kouko and Yoshino represent Nagisa and Tomoya. Why else do you think the designers of the show would have made them appear so similar? To make Yoshino look like an older Tomoya and Kouko look like an older version of Nagisa is just too blatant to be ignored. So, let's run with it! These two represent what Tomoya and Nagisa will be: a family. This means, of course, that Fuko represents Tomoya and Nagisa's child. How? Watch the video below, and see if you can figure it out. I'll be there on the other side.



If you spotted what I was talking about, goody for you. For the rest of you, don't worry about it. It'll be clear as you watch the anime and take in the themes and characters. Oh, you don't like that? Crap. Well, I'll try to explain it, but it really is just an intuition more than anything, and you'll have to forgive me if the nature of intuition prevents a full disclosure.

Because of Fuko Nagisa and Tomoya start to act like a family. They act together for someone beyond themselves, which is what a child is all about: the surrendering of self to someone else for everyone's sake. However, Tomoya and Nagisa can't do that yet, not only because they're not that comfortable with each other yet but because they haven't matured enough as people! The fact that Tomoya and Nagisa aren't all that comfortable with each other and her being a "phantom" is not a coincidence, people! This is just the beginning of Tomoya and Nagisa's dream. This is but the beginning of a beautiful reality that will spring forth, and the arc shows that in all its glorious promise. Fuko also has the same need for protection and safety that the child will have, and that only Tomoya could satisfy. Watch the clip below, starting from 2:32, and you'll see what I mean.



Ok, what's the first thing that happens at 2:32? Fuko turns to Tomoya, and remarks on her shock that the world reciprocated her love. She doesn't turn to Nagisa: she knows that Nagisa and her family loves her. What she was worried about was whether or not the world loved her, and for that reason she's turned to Tomoya, who, as a guy, is the one who she sees as dealing with the world. In Theology of the Body (start here.) men represent the transcendence, mystery, and power of God. In other words, men represent Otherness, while women represent Closeness. It's not Nagisa's job to deal with Otherness, not in the same way Tomoya does. What makes this work is that Fuko needs help with Otherness, something that Tomoya is more than willing to help with. THIS IS IMPORTANT, AGREE WITH ME OR NOT IT'S NECESSARY TO UNDERSTAND, BECAUSE THIS IS TOMOYA'S FUNCTION IN THE PLOT FOR THE REST OF THE ANIME! What's Nagisa's "special function in the plot? We'll cover that later. But don't worry, I'll get to it.

Tomoya helped Fuko realize that the world would respond in a similar way that Nagisa's family did, that all the world is a giant Star Fish Festival. The outside world does not suck. And we all have to deal with that every day, and Tomoya helps make it a little easier for Fuko (and hopefully the rest of us as well). I know he did for me.

My sincerest thanks to everyone at Clannad Central and the Facebook Clannad (Kuranado) page who gave me access to these video clilps, just for this review! Their dedication is awesome.

I'm Miserable, and Wanna Be Happy (Part Two)

So I said I'd only do one post a week, but after looking at the former post I thought something was lacking, and realized that it was a bit of my own story. So much of my own thoughts about Clannad are about the impact on my own life that I can't help but write about it.

I really have trouble with the standard anime format, which takes four episodes to set up any show effectively. In my humble American opinion I think a show should be set up in one episode. Anymore than that and you drag it out. While I realize that, as an American, I have a shorter than average attention span, I do think it's just good policy. People shouldn't have to wait to find out if the show's worth watching, they should know pretty quickly. A lot of anime I've watched does turn out to be worth it later, but there's still the hurdle of the first four episodes.

Clannad isn't like the others. It grabbed me in one. It told me in one episode that there was another world, that it had some form of impact on the world of Tomoya, and that the whole thing would revolve around Tomoya and Nagisa, while still introducing quite a few of the main and supporting characters. While Clannad does follow the four episode formula, it's first episode is able to stand on it's own merit, something that I find isn't the case with most anime. What am I talking about? I'll post a few examples, and may God help me.

Kanon/Air: SLOW. SLOW. SLOW. Part of it is that the main characters just aren't that interesting in comparison to Tomoya (or Ed from FMA), and that definitely doesn't help. It takes a good four episodes for any semblance of plot at all to start forming, and even then it's not necessarily very exciting (Kanon, I haven't seen enough of Air to comment further)

FMA Brotherhood: I know I'll draw ire for saying it, but I hated the first four episodes of FMA Brotherhood. HATED. It was a sped up version of the first show that somehow managed to spit on all the memories I'd had. The Nina arc was especially bad, and I almost got up and left from the sheer inane quality of that episode. How are we supposed to care if this girl dies if we don't get the connection first? Yes, her father's still an evil man but the impact is lessened by the lack of exposure. Does that sound a little extreme? Probably. But that was my reaction to the dribble that is the first four episodes of FMA Brotherhood. (Now before anyone gets defensive, I love FMA Brotherhood, and it really is superior in practically every way to the original. I just don't like the first four episodes, that's all.)

Those are two examples I can think of off the top of my head that make me wanna rage, but I can probably think of more. My point is that any good piece of literature or visual medium should grab you from the first instant you see it. Clannad did that for me, even if that was only because I needed to hear someone say "Go find new memories". For me that was enough of a reason to watch the rest of the show, if only because I'd seen that someone knew what was going on. They knew about how much the past could hurt, and they wanted to go forward anyway. I wanted to see if Tomoya could back up his command "Go make new memories", if only so I could laugh at him in case he failed. I'm happy to say he didn't, otherwise I wouldn't love this show as much as I do now.

Now I'm not gonna say that I had it worse than anyone (I definitely didn't), but it was still pretty rough after the break up with this girl (we'll call her Jamie) that I was referring to. I had sunk a lot of personal time, stress, money, and tears into a really horrible relationship, and had fooled myself into thinking it was going somewhere. Imagine my surprise when I found it wasn't. I was confused, I had no idea what I was going to do with my life, because so much of it had been spent in the service of  Jamie. I'd thought that that was all there was to life, and so when the relationship ended it felt like life had ended. I wondered why I was alive.

Yes, that's called pathetic. Moving along.

The opening three minutes of the anime turned that attitude on its head, and showed me what I really was. Selfish, delusional, and in desperate need of a good time or three. But I needed more, I needed to see it work. Clannad moved on to prove that to me, as I'll show in the following weeks.

Does that make me biased? Oh yeah, definitely. But that may not be a bad thing. My bias just might show a different side of what this (and any anime) is capable of. And that can't be a bad thing. Because no matter how nutty I am it'll show you a different side, and you just might walk away knowing a different thing or two.

And isn't that the point?

I'm Miserable, I Wanna Be Happy! (1st Theatre Arc)

This....(you're supposed to click on it!)

..is the Second Most Important Part of Clannad! 

Real subtle, I know, but I figured I'd say it now. This section decides everything. Everything. Think I'm kidding? You just wait, you lucky reader, you!

The anime opens with a subdued blue hue, putting us into Tomoya's mood and world. Blue is a passive color, indicating that Tomoya has done nothing to change the way things are, and up until this point I don't know if he ever wanted them to change. Tomoya just lives his life passively, waiting for things to happen to him, but nothing will. Until Tomoya asks. He specifically asks for life to get better in this opening, and so God works with Tomoya's desire. How?

Nagisa.

Tomoya feels Nagisa's fear. He's just as much at the bottom of the hill as Nagisa is, because he's afraid too. This the first impression of these two that we get, of their fears. But within Tomoya and Nagisa is the courage to break the past and live. But Tomoya actually knows what to do, he just doesn't think about it until he meets Nagisa. Hearing her declaration of love for a place that he wants to love is enough for Tomoya to reach out, and provide the answer that both he and Nagisa were so desperately looking for. I thought for a long time that it was Nagisa who saved Tomoya, but I'll have to admit that I was wrong. It was Tomoya who saved himself, he just needed Nagisa to know that he wanted to.

These opening episodes work off of this premise and show further that Nagisa and Tomoya are really the two closest characters in the whole show. They want to be unequivocally happy, a quality that goes beyond words and beyond all other similarities. As I watched this show the first time I always asked "Why not Kyou? Why not Tomoyo?" Those two have much more surface things in common with Tomoya, and they seem to get along better with him. But their primary interest isn't in being happy no matter what the cost. Tomoya and Nagisa are the only two who actually want happiness for themselves, first, and that's what makes the difference. Don't get me wrong, Tomoya and Nagisa are not being selfish, a point that's made later on in the anime (and that I'll cover soon enough). They're actually being incredibly selfless by focusing on their own happiness. Their focus starts to be fixed with the arrival of Ibuki Fuko, who will be the focus of next week's review. Tune in next time!

A thanks to the Clannad Fan Page (found here), who provided the video clip that I used. Props to Taylor for his commitment!

An Introduction to Clannad, Me, and Key

Clannad is the third anime based off of a visual novel from the company Key. It's also the best thing since sliced bread, hell, it tops sliced bread. 

What might a visual novel be? A visual novel is the video game equivalent of a choose-your-own-adventure novel. Players read the text and make choices based upon the options given them by the game. Clannad had a total of 13 endings, with one true ending. While I haven't played the visual novel I've heard that it's an amazing experience, filled to the brim with beautiful stories that make you laugh and cry. There's even some guys who walk away from the game feeling more mature, something that I would have trouble believing if not for the impact that Clannad's had on my life.


About Me
This is the part of the post where I start talking about myself. Not just because I'm arrogant but because I really do think it's important that you guys know a bit about me so that way you can know what to expect of me in these reviews. I'm in my early 20's, am a guy, and am Eastern Catholic. For those of you who don't know what that is click here! I do this, again, because I feel the more transparency in worldview the better. I'm going to review from my gut, and I won't weed out my thoughts on how Christianity and this anime work together and compliment each other nicely, because that's why I find this anime so good. Clannad really is the most Christian thing I've ever seen, and I'm out to prove it. There, you got my mission statement in the second paragraph, how's that for convoluted writing?

I first saw Clannad in my sophomore year of college. I'd just had a really bad break up with a girlfriend, and so one of my friends (we'll call him Marty for now), took me in and started showing me the most positive anime he could find. I'd only seen one anime before (Fullmetal Alchemist), and was more than willing to find out if FMA was a fluke or a sign of Japan's quality. Marty showed me Eureka 7, which I gobbled up in about a week! Hungry for more, I asked what we were gonna watch next. 


What Marty showed me was Clannad. Boy, if there were things that I needed to (and still need to) hear, Clannad shouted them all. At the top of its lungs. With a megaphone. I watched the first half of Clannad, enjoying the incredible character interactions and poignant moments, and cruised right into Afterstory. That's when things got weird. This show stopped being as fun and happy as it had been before, and began a more serious twist on the things that had been set up in the first half. Before I knew, I needed a tissue, and then another, and then another. And then I started throwing things (but that's for later).  What I'm trying to say is that Clannad changed my life, it was a tool that God used to keep me afloat, and I couldn't ask for a better floater.


An Intro to Key

A brief history on Key is also necessary to set up the stage of Clannad. Key is a gaming company famous for its modern day fairytale visual novels. Their preceding visual novels, each with an anime adaptation, are Air and Kanon. Many of the themes from these anime are transferred to Clannad, especially those of dreams and alternate lives and worlds. While I'm not going to get into a full-on review of Air and Kanon here, I will say that Kanon is a good anime in its own right, and that if I could get past the first four episodes of Air I might find it worthwhile. Seriously, that show takes so long to get started.... but I digress. Again.

At first glance Clannad is just like its predecessors. It's a modern day harem fairytale about a young man finding his family. There's all sorts of weird things going on with ghosts, reincarnated animals, and alternate lives. And of course, there's the girls. Those wildly unique, hilarious, and tragic women of the main character's life. All three animes' action center around the guy's interaction with the girls. Some of the characters are so over the  top that I wonder if Key doesn't have a dart board with traits. The writers are then required to blind fold themselves and throw at the dart board. Bonus points are awarded for hitting other writers, particularly the guys who made up the Fox girl arc in Kanon!

Fortunately that's where the similarities ends. First, Clannad is an all-ages visual novel, with no hentai (pornographic) content. Both Air and Kanon have hentai content, so there's two versions of each visual novel, with their respective anime being all-ages. Clannad is the only Key visual novel that was all-ages from the start, much to the chagrin of their earlier fans. Seriously, though, how can the addition of scenes that we'd never see in real life help a slice of life piece anyway? The last time I checked it wasn't customary to set up video cameras in the rooms of people having healthy relationships. Unless of course my friends (married or not) who joke about sex all the time are prudes.  Didn't think so. Perverts. 


I'll give my quick and (hopefully not so dirty) impressions of Clannad, which'll have to keep you until next week. Oh wait, did I mention this is a weekly thing, because I have a life? Yeah, I think I just did. 




Clannad is NOT Just Slice of Life
This is something that trips up people who see Clannad. They get so drawn in my by the slice of life elements that they forget that it's a modern-day fairytale. And I mean fairytale in our modern sense of the word, where everything ends well. Yes, I just spoiled that part for anyone who hasn't seen the show, it's a happy ending!


You Must See Both Clannad and Clannad:Afterstory
While I normally call both shows Clannad what I really mean is the compilation of two "different" shows (Clannad and Clannad: Afterstory). While they have different names it's really Season 1 and Season 2 of the same show, it's just that the arc that's explored in Season 2 was called Afterstory in the visual novel. While it shouldn't be much of a no-brainer that you have to watch this show from beginning to end, I say this because....


Clannad is All About The End
Kinda weird, ain't it? That you have to keep in mind that this show is all about the end? Well, it is. Everything about this show is to convince you that the ending can and will happen. 

"But that's it for this week?" Yeah, that's it for this week. I encourage you to check out the link that I put into this article, and, well, review ME, the reviewer. It'll work out in the long run, and you'll be glad that I took the time to do this little post before all the craziness starts.

Until next week!