Reflections From the top of the Hill (Fin)

Well folks, this is it. After all the time we've spent together this blog needs to come to an end.Clannad is done. It's been done for a few years now, and we covered what we wanted to on this blog. It's not just that I want to move on to other things. It's that everything that I could possibly cover on this show that means something to me has been covered, and I no longer have anything in my head that's not on here. This is an archive of my thoughts about this show, and fortunately I only have a finite brain to divulge. We're at the top of the hill, and we're looking down at everything that's happened. I have a lot of memories.

I remember starting this blog as if it was yesterday. I'd been coming out of another rough patch not covered in this blog, and needed to tell my story. So much had happened in two years, and I needed to process (much as I do now, as I start the next chapter in my rather insane life). I didn't really know why I wanted to cover the show, other than that it was extremely important to me, and I can't even say that I had an overarching theme in mind. I just wanted to say that I'd found beauty and truth, enough for me to hang onto until I could find it on my own. Beyond covering those basic things I had nothing in mind. I didn't expect (or want) to be be made one of the admins of the Clannad Fan Club. I didn't expect Brandon to start up his blog, or for Sean to want to jump on board, or any of the other things that have happened. I just wanted to get in, post my thoughts, and get out. Like Tomoya, I'd know idea what was going to happen.

This was one of the best projects I have ever worked on. It was personal, collaborative, filled with the things that I cared about, and fun. Every week I'd sit down and watch another few episodes of my favorite show and write about them. I'd never written a blog like this before, and I was a bit worried that I'd peter out. I'd never completed a writing project before, and I'm not exactly the most inspiring of writers, so I grew afraid. But, as I learned from the next few months of writing this show, starting a new relationship, and trying to get my iconography off the ground, it doesn't matter who you are, or what you think you're capable of. You have a choice to make, and regardless of how capable you may or may not be, you will always have that. Did the fact that I didn't think I was a good writer stop me from making this blog? Hell no. Did the fact that Tomoya wasn't exactly father material at the start of the show stop him? Hell no. 

As Clannad taught me we have choices to make about who we are going to be. If you want to be a certain way, then do it! God will provide the way for you to fulfill your dreams, if only you ask Him. And by ask Him I mean go out and keep trying to do it, and never give up. Regardless of cost, reason, sanity, sleep, sorrow, or joy, if it's what you truly desire then you will never give up until your goal is accomplished. Don't say that you're not worthy of it, or not smart enough, or (heavens forbid) strong enough. Did Tomoya look like ANY of those? Does he now? All that separates him from Sunohara are his choices.

And that's really what I think I have to say about this show since the beginning: you will never know what good will come of you following your dreams until you try it. Who knows, you might do the impossible and succeed. I mean, look at this blog. It's here because all the people who wrote in it truly wanted to. Week in and week out we made a deliberate choice to write about this show, regardless of what we thought of our own material (which is not to say we're awful writers. The people who wrote on this blog are awesome. But I'd lie if I said that we didn't have our own doubts). And it's paid off, folks. Like Clannad, this blog has served it's purpose, and so now it'll end. Do I want to say good-bye to my pet project? Actually, I do. I've done everything I want to, and so I'll move on to other things. Am I sad? Of course.  This blog was the first attempt I'd made to talk about something on the internet that succeeded (i.e. people actually read it)! But who knows, maybe by letting go of this project I'll go and find what I've always been looking for. Maybe I'll finally start that Firefly blog that I keep yammering about. Or become a world famous musician. Or, hell, become a homeless bum on the street who amuses people with silly faces. You never know what will happen.

And that's the wonderful thing about life. You don't know. All you can do is try, and hope for the best. Like Tomoya, the only thing that will keep you moving forward is the faith that if you make choices good will come of them somehow. And look at what it got him: a family. What'll it get you?

It's been an honor and a joy writing for all of you,
Liam Francis Traveller


A special shout out to the following people who made this blog what it is are in order.


Brandon: Dude, you do realize that the majority of your posts are the most looked at on this site, right? Don't tell me I'm the better writer ;) Seriously, though, thanks for doing your part here, and for playing the counterbalance to me for awhile. I loved reading your stuff, and felt honored that you would share it here. You have a good analytical style, and I'm glad that you shared it with us. Take care of yourself in Austria, my friend. You rock. 


Sean: I know you didn't get a lot of time to post here, but your post on Fuko was amazing. You brought a completely different side to this blog, even if only for a moment, and I'm glad that you did. You take care of the Warriors for me, OK? I know they're troublesome, but they're good guys. Thanks for contributing, I wouldn't be the same without you.


Maria: What can't I thank you for? You encouraged me at the beginning to write the blog, you read it, you told me that it was good, and you told me that I had something important to say. While you didn't write much here, you certainly did your part of being essential to this blog, even if it was behind the scenes. I hope the readers understand how essential you are, because this all your fault. I mean, how could it not be?


Andy: First of all, TOLDJA this show was good, Mr.-I'll-learn-Meg Mell-on-my-guitar! :P I've never not worked with you on a writing project, and I'm happy that this wasn't an exception. Your different point of view was a wonderful second half for the blog and kept it alive while I went and fretted about how I was going to end it. Thank you for your insights, I always value them.


Taylor: I'm not gonna lie, folks. Without Taylor this wouldn't have happened. I remember sitting on Facebook, chatting with him about the idea for this blog, and about how it could have been a video blog. He told me that he could splice some of the episode clips for me, and that's when the format of this being a text-video blog popped into my head and stuck there. Every single week I would give him my "selections" to cut, and he did almost always on time. When I say almost always, I mean when he didn't get it on time he would get pissed about failing and try doubly as hard the next time. Taylor, your dedication to this blog is impossible to overstate. Thank you for putting everything into it that you did, because you made it doable. 


and last but not least...


To our readers: I don't know how many of you there are, but thanks for sticking around and reading. This project was a deeply personal thing for everyone involved here, and it's very humbling to have people read and enjoy something that you put so much of your heart and soul into. I hope you find the blog as enlightening as we, the writers, have. Tis been an honor.


And one more video, just for the hell of it. Well, it might have thematic importance to this post. Just a bit. Three last cheers for Taylor, folks! He did this in a few hours (and if you're wondering, yes that can be a pain with Youtube. Trust me, I know)